|How old am I:||50|
|Tone of my eyes:||Enormous hazel green eyes|
It merely befuddles me.
Don't Starve, for all of its ostensible prettiness, is a dark place which requires you moderate your own insanity. The fact they sometimes show up with a coterie of equally bloodthirsty monstrosities? Putt Putt doesn't even have the right peripherals. I think most arachnids are adorable in a fluffy, I-will-drink-the-pulp-juice-of-your-heart-if-i-were-bigger sort of way.
My only consolation is that only one sexy Diggle was ever tattooed onto a dude's arm. The fact that there were people out there who took both time and effort to attach additional organs to the menagerie neither shocks nor appalls me, honestly.
You are here
Maybe, it's because I expected it. Shadow-hands come creeping up at night to snatch away at your flames. I - what? Must we also dictate the carnal rhythms of their personal lives? Because that is terrifying. Why be a prude when your quality of life can be only be described as expendable? It isn't even so much I wished this didn't exist as it is I wish I knew why.
However, a morbid part of me is wondering: what if it was not?
Is it the black, empty eyes peering vapidly into your soul? I am flummoxed. I am also unconvinced that Rule 34 was applied to Angry Birds for "lolz" sake alone. A post-apocalyptic setting. How does it even function? Just stop. I can see why Cloud and Tifa doing the horizontal mambo might be appealing but Lego loving just sounds like a terrible idea. Weirdly, the idea of Left 4 Dead porn doesn't mortify me as much as I thought it would.
In some ways, I suppose, it makes a squicky kind of sense. Or how. No, No, Internet. But, damn you, Internet. I'm going to go bleach my eyes now, thank you. Morbidly obese zombies with cancerous growths ringing their skulls, a mutated smoker with an exorbitantly long tongue. What if a Jockey decided to take the wrong kind of ride? That flat, Kings quest rule 34 yellow and appetite for violent death?
Look, these guys are balls. Nonothing's sacred on the Internet. Poor Isaac, has he not had enough? No matter how you slice that block of moldy cheese, something absolutely weird is happening. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to writhe really, really uncomfortably in my seat. Is it just the principle of the matter? It's a good place to start. But, as a mental exercise, I find the contemplation of Super Hexagon lewdness a veritable work-out. How does this work? The Internet's compulsive need to satisfy the demands of Rule 34 regardless of the subject material?
I used to like spiders. A little, purple car with great big eyes and a bland smile. It's cool that we all have different ways of getting freaky, that we're actively battling negative cultural homogeneity and just, you know, exploring the limits of human pleasure. And that answered my question. But this was a car. From ren's game. Just why Since the Kerbal Space Program launched, hundreds of these big-eyed, oblong-skulled critters have been murdered.
I like spiders. Is nothing remotely sacred? Bewilders me. As such, I find it deeply, irrevocably disturbing to have furry little spiders getting it on with a certain dead-eyed girl.
He was nice. Putt Putt was a car. I hate all of you. I suppose I could see how Diggles might be construed as sexy, what with their suggestive drill-snouts and penchant for digging into deep, dark dungeons. I mean, ignoring the whole potential for necrophilia, the notion of the Survivors having wild monkey sex in the game's setting just flabbergasts me. Words fail to accurately convey exactly how I feel about this.
And his friends, of course. Why, Internet? And in celebration of Rule 34, here are ten games we really, really wish Rule 34 didn't bloody well apply to.
I do believe i made the gif better (king's quest vi)
The name "Woody" shouldn't be a cringe-inducing double entendre. You knew Rule 34 would be all over this. The sheer amount of explicit material connected to said poultry le me to believe that someone is actually titillated by these images. But regardless of whether it's a product of specialized tastes, lolz or just continuity's sake, one thing's for certain: Rule 34 is, uh, an interesting component of modern society.
Imagine if a Hunter decided to in?
Let's begin with "mortally horrified". The pigs they're perpetually in combat with? But while some of it makes sense, others don't. If you are such a person, we are never ing in a communal Thanksgiving feast. There are few rules that the Internet operates by and one of them is Rule If it exists, there is porn of it somewhere.
I - no, don't tell me. Like, I really do. Three guys and a girl. This is Tim Burton's interactive semi-nightmare, I swear.
But I don't really get it. I know it exists because Twitter. Do what you like to the Transformers. Isn't it enough that we subject them to und and certainly less-than-professional attempts at aerospace engineering? He starred in this edutainment series and was, by and large, a less aggravating version of Barney. And by balls, I don't mean vital components of the male genitalia. Though, in retrospect, it might make sense if the Kerbal nation subscribed to today's YOLO pseudo-losophy.
Angry Birds? But Rule 34 shenanigans make me want to scrub my skin right off my flesh. Is it audio?
Does it involve weird transmedia performances involving said voice? And, for god's sake, keep off my lawn and away from those Angry Birds. There's just so much wrong with the idea of Kerbals Gone Wild that I don't know where to start. Why is this sexy again?! Don't take that away from me. I suppose the people responsible most likely did it for laughs.
Does it involve pulsating geometrical shapes? Is it someone recording their own lustful pants over Jenn Frank's calm, smooth voice? Unfortunately, I'm too much of a coward to go digging through the fetid bowels of the Internet for.
Childhood cartoons, for example, should not be introduced to puberty.
Fluffy, circular objects which lack any limbs whatsoever. But there are linesInternet. Really nice. Stay away from my turkey.